Be Still

"Be Still and Know I am God” (Psalm 46:10)

One beautiful sunny day I was working out in my garden. Life had changed completely for me in the past few months. My entire family, totaling eleven, had moved three hundred miles away from the city to a ranch. Instead of gardeners and a big beautiful house, we were starting over with run down property and a manufactured home. Even though many would think, “What a dream come true!” Living with my husband, son and daughter and their spouses and five grandchildren was an adjustment.

Eight years prior, my family and I had a horrible accident that left my husband and me severely burned. At that time we all realized how fast our lives could change, and we began working toward living together on a ranch.

During the past eight years, I had jumped feet first into a new life as a burn survivor. As soon as I was physically able, I started working with other burn survivors to help them to be able to adjust to their new lives. I ran our local support group and spoke at burn retreats and conferences. I wrote our story, “Out of the Fire” that was published in “Today’s Christian Woman” Magazine. All of these experiences have been rewarding.

I realize that whatever circumstance in which I find myself, I bloom where I am planted. That is not a bad thing to do. However, I know now, I had kept myself so busy that I did not take time to think and heal from my own loss.

That season was a piece of the puzzle of my life. As I quietly pulled the weeds in my garden, I thought back and wondered what God had in store for me now. I felt His voice ringing in my ears, saying, “Be Still, just Be and not Do.” My entire life I had kept myself busy for all kinds of reasons. Do any of you relate? I loved to be productive and have accomplishments, but it also kept me from thinking about my sad past, the loneliness I felt, the rejection I experienced and the pain I had from being different with my burn scars. Keeping busy helped me avoid dealing with the unbearable times in my life.

Now, in the quiet surroundings of hundreds of acres, it was just God and me, and I was able to hear that I had to now face my past. This has been a time to be quiet and write my story to seek and see how God has used my complete life as an opportunity to glorify Him. I believe, sometimes we get stuck in certain seasons, and are reluctant to go on with the next, mainly because we do not know what is ahead of us.

We all have a story! It took moving from the busyness of my former life to this quiet valley to be still enough to hear His voice. I had been so busy helping others through their burn injuries that I did not face my own fears. I realized this one evening when I ended up in the hospital, because I could not breathe. As I laid on the gurney waiting to be seen, looking up at the lights on the ceiling brought back horrible memories. My biggest fear was to be out of control of what was to happen to me. Tears streamed from my eyes and I begged my family not to leave me.

Thinking back of my 60 years, I know with each circumstance God has carried me, and given me opportunities to share Him with others. During many turbulent times, I have called upon Him and relied on His help. He has always been faithful. I have not always been able to thank Him for all circumstances. I now look at each one of them as another part of the puzzle that made me who I am today. I am a strong woman with confidence in my Lord, and feel honored to have been chosen to be His instrument. In Jeremiah 1:5, it says, “God knew me, God consecrated me, and God appointed me before I was even born.” I never really understood that verse until now.

This year of being still has given me an opportunity to see and realize in a positive way every incident in my life has worked together for God’s glory and good. As long as I walked the trials and journey hand in hand with Him, He revealed His appointed assignment for me.

My garden flourishes now and our family has settled into a wonderful life style. I have the privilege of being part of my grandchildren’s lives each day watching them grow along with my flowers. We are all blooming into God’s perfect plan and the lesson I have learned is to “Be Still” and listen.

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